It has long been a goal of mine to travel around the U.S. attending as many temples as possible and keeping a photo diary of all of them. I’m not about waiting for things to come to pass, no, I’m all about making things happen now. So I headed to the Las Vegas temple today.
I have been there before, but only once, and it was so long ago that I can’t really even recall it. Nothing in that temple today seemed familiar to me. I do have to say that the Celestial room in the Las Vegas temple is my favorite so far. It is so spacious and pristine, and the light is vibrant and warm. I love it!
I really love going to the temple. I love the beauty and reverence. I love that it is something entirely different from the rest of the world. I love the Spirit there. I love the peace and quiet. I just really love all of it. But, if I’m being honest, I’m really, really tired of going and being there alone. Always alone. Most days I’m okay alone. Today was a little tough, though. It can be hard.
I feel like I’ve been spiritually alone my entire life. I never fully had the companion who was all in with me spiritually, working toward common goals and vision, tied and committed to God as our companion together. I know what it all is supposed to look like. And being in the temple today reminded me of what I have yet to find. Waiting upon the Lord can be hard some days.
I know I have plenty of work to do in the meantime. I need some polishing myself, and my kids need my time and attention, too. Most days I am fine enough, but there are some days when I’m just not strong enough to do it all alone. I get worn down.
Some days I need a shoulder to cry on. Some days I need a lap to rest my head in, falling asleep while somebody strokes my hair. Some days I need somebody to simply tell me everything is going to be alright. Some days I need somebody to hold my hand and not say anything at all. These are things I have never had. Waiting can be so hard.
Even though it is hard, I know my Heavenly Father is aware of me and the things I need. He’s got me. I know I will be okay. “Fear not, little children, for you are mine…” (D&C 50:41)
So … I will wait.
Forever grateful.
