One big sin I have come to see and realize in my life is putting my focus of other people ahead of my focus on the Lord. The biggest place I have done this was in my marriage. I was fairly young when I got married (21), not that it’s an excuse, but my ideas of the marriage relationship and eternal companionship were not mature. I thought my responsibility was to be a good person and keep my husband happy.
As our relationship developed and eventually ended, I have come to see how putting my focus on my husband and trying to please him instead of the Lord was a huge mistake. It was a huge disservice to the marriage. There were many times throughout my marriage that I felt the strain and sin of choosing my husband over my God. I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway. I did not know how to stand up for what I believed in to someone who claimed to also believe the same as me. Super confusing. In the perfect marriage, you would not need to choose between a spouse and your Heavenly Father; their paths would be the same, but perfect marriages don’t always happen. This is life.
My faith was lacking and not developed enough to understand that the Lord can do and heal and fix ANYTHING. The more I love Him, the more faith and hope I can have in all of my other relationships. I see that now. But even in seeing it, it is hard sometimes. As I see potential in relationships, I still have a tendency to want to move toward the man even when it means moving away from God. This is wrong. I have to remind myself that as I move myself toward my Heavenly Father, even if it means moving away from the man for now, and he moves himself toward Heavenly Father, even if it means moving away from me for now, that he and I will eventually meet there at the Lord. This is the right path.
Forever grateful for the trust I can have in my Heavenly Father’s plan.
