I had the worst day yesterday!! It seemed like everything went wrong. A big test I was supposed to take got all jacked up and so I didn’t get to take it but the system thinks I took it, so now nobody knows what to do to allow me to actually take it. I accidentally dropped a bowl in my sink which shattered everywhere. I went to take something to my friend and as I backed out of the garage, I forgot I had the door partially open. It was open enough that my backup camera didn’t see it, but not enough that my car actually fit under it … yep, I backed into my garage door and it ripped the antenna fin off the top of my car … It was a confusingly awful day. I felt like the universe was against me, literally, I felt like forces where trying to mess with me. It felt so off. It made me think of Joseph Smith (not that this is a fair comparison, because I’m 100% sure it’s not) when he knelt to pray and was overcome with such a force of destruction. It was so strong that he was certain he was going to die. . . until he cried out to the Lord for help. Was I meant to cry out to the Lord for help? What was I to learn from all of this? I feel like I constantly cry out to the Lord for help – I’m actually probably one of those persons who over-uses Him (I don’t really believe that is possible, but my point exactly).
I found myself driving and cussing under my breath all at the same time. What the crap?! Why is this happening? What am I supposed to do with this? I didn’t get any resolve on the matter other than a stronger determination to tell the “universe” to go to H E double toothpicks and to keep moving forward with a determination to decide and choose my own fate, my own perspective, my own happiness, my own peace. I will fight for peace. I have fought for peace my entire life. I will continue to fight for peace. Life is hard sometimes. It can be messy and confusing, and sometimes it can be really hard to see through the darkness that is right in front of us, but the Lord sees what is on the other side of that darkness – He knows the light that is there, and I know that! If we, like Joseph Smith and like Peter when he was sinking on the water, call out to Him for help, He will help us. It will be according to His own time and wisdom, but undoubtedly He will help. We, then, just have to be patient and hang on to that faith and allow Him to work in our lives. Easier said than done, I know.
Forever grateful for the struggles that lead me to greater light.
