As I said my prayers tonight, so many things fluttered through my mind.
Gratitude. Gratitude for healthy children, for happy children. Gratitude for work that I love and feel at home doing. Gratitude for meaningful friendships that influence my life in various ways. Gratitude for opportunities that lie ahead of me. They are going to be great. I’m so excited.
Repentance. Repentance for the anger and pain that I still hang on to. Repentance for my inability to forgive and for my lack of willingness to simply hand it over to the Lord. “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” I want to forgive and let go. I want to be free. Repentance for forgetting, for not remembering and therefore doubting. Sometimes I forget the Spirit I once felt in regards to something, and because times takes its toll, I forget. When I check myself and the Lord reminds me, I realize my need for repentance for not remembering and doubting. My focus wanders, unfortunately.
Many pleas. A plea for better self discipline. For consistency. For continued focus. I am willing to work for it, but I do need help. A plea for peace. Peace in my heart, in my mind, and in my family. How I long for peace. A plea for a friend, also for peace and reassurance. A plea for guidance and humility, for direction.
I am so grateful that I have my Heavenly Father to talk to openly and honestly. I love that He knows my heart, that there is nothing that I can or need to hide from him. That is such a welcomed relief. He knows me and loves me anyway, completely.
Forever grateful!
