Let me start out with saying that conversion, true conversion, is an ongoing process. It’s not something that just happens once and then it’s done. It is something that requires effort and desire and is nurtured along the way. Its foundation is built one experience at a time.
That said, however, I can definitely look back on my story and identify clear factors in my conversion – one of which was the temple.
I grew up in an inactive family. I was baptized when I was eight, but then was pretty much inactive up through all of my high school years. After graduating high school, I had an academic scholarship to attend Dixie State in St. George, Utah for college but then just weeks before school was to start I got a phone call from the softball coach at Utah Valley inviting me to attend a tryout he was holding. I went to that Utah Valley tryout and changed my course in life because of it.
I didn’t think the tryouts went that great – I didn’t feel like I was anything special in comparison to the other players trying out etc, but two days later, the coach called and offered me a scholarship. I was so excited! Utah Valley was much closer to home and that meant getting to see my boyfriend (who was a grade younger than me and still in high school) much more often. Ha ha. I was thrilled! I think I accepted the Utah Valley offer right then and there over the phone without even consulting my parents first.
Little did I know, attending Utah Valley for school and softball would mean living in BYU housing and being surrounded by return missionaries who loved sharing their mission stories. My roommates were all members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and most of my teammates were too. We spent countless hours chillin in our apartment listening to missionary stories. I remember feeling the Spirit often, recognizing it as light and clinging to it, wanting it. At the time, I didn’t know what it was. I just knew I wanted more of it.
My roommates and friends didn’t know I wasn’t an active member of the church. I went home every weekend and was never around for Sunday services. But one weekend I decided to skip the trip home and head to Bountiful with my friend to spend the weekend with her family. When the weekend was over, we headed back to Orem. It was late, and it was dark. We were driving through Salt Lake City when I saw the temple all lit up, majestic, breathtaking.
I can’t recall exactly the questions I asked my friend about the temple. It was one of those heart to heart, real moments in life as she explained, “People get married in there. Families are sealed together forever in there. But not just anyone can go in – you have to qualify for it. You have to be worthy of it and live a certain way.”
I can remember right then and there telling myself, “I am going to go in there one day. I am going to be married in there.” I committed myself to it on the spot.
One thing about me … I am very goal oriented. I set them and I achieve them. I told myself I was going to do it and that meant I was going to. I started learning about and living the way I needed to qualify for that privilege right away.
I don’t know what it was about the temple that drew me to it so strongly. Maybe my view was that of Sister Eubank’s as described in her conference talk, Christ: The Light That Shines in Darkness, “The temple is a steady, reassuring beacon just outside my window,” But it called to me, calling me home.
I have known darkness in my life, plenty of it. Which is why, I believe, I also know light. Light is soft and kind. It is gentle and warm. It is sure and stable. It is reassurance and rest. It is home.
I haven’t regretted a single moment of setting that goal for myself. The temple is still a sounding motivation for me to live the life I know God wants for me. It isn’t easy, I mess it up all of the time, but even so, I continue to cling to the Light and steady my course to that “reassuring beacon just outside my window.”
