Hope lies ahead of us. It’s never behind us. I have learned that my happiest, most peaceful existence is in hope as I look ahead and not back. I am learning to simply let go of all things “me” and to move forward, open to all things of the Lord’s will for me. I am learning that to get what and where I want and feel is best for me, if it be the Lord’s will, I need to put myself in the places and positions that reflect my desires. I am learning to prepare and work towards it. As I do this, I have noticed that the hope grows within me and becomes more clear in vision, almost tangible I begin to see it so clearly. The more clear that vision becomes, the more the hope grows. It’s a spiraling cycle that keeps me moving forward.
So many times I have found myself in prayer, “Please forgive me for being in this situation again. Please forgive me for feeling this way again.” Tonight I heard myself say, “Why am I trapped here?” And the words… “You’re not” followed. I get to choose. I can look back and stay trapped. Or, I can look ahead, let all of that go, and be free in hope and trust.
I was listening to The Law of Sacrifice by Elder M. Russell Ballard a few days ago. It discussed the trial that Abraham had to face in sacrificing Isaac and the difficulty that must have been for Abraham. He was promised by the Lord posterity. How confusing it must have been then that he was being asked to sacrifice his only means to that promised blessing. It was concluded in the talk that Abraham had to learn something about Abraham through the Lord’s request of him. I think right now Shaleah is needing to learn something about Shaleah. No doubt, I have grown tremendously over the past handful of years through the trials I have endured. Some have been self created, and some not, but if I want out of the self creating trials, all I have to do is take myself out. Maybe I have learned enough already?
I know Heavenly Father knows who I am. I know He knows my heart. I know He knows my heartache. I know He knows my loneliness. I know He knows my desires and my frustrations. I know He wants the very best for me, so … there is no reason for me not to trust Him, no reason to not take myself out of my situation and hand it all to Him.
Forever grateful!
