Something happened to me the other day that I was dreading. I knew it was going to happen eventually, I just didn’t know when. The anxiety had been building and building and I was preparing myself to be crushed, devastated. And then, all of the sudden, unexpectedly, that moment was there, right in front of me, happening. I managed my way through it the best I could and then it was gone, over. I was flooded with a spaghetti bowl of emotions that rushed in and out within seconds. I can’t remember “crushed” or “devastated” being any of those emotions I felt. In fact, after it all settled, the emotions that were left remaining most were a regret that I had ever been unkind, a resolve to always be kind, a deep love and gratitude, and most of all … hope.
I settled in with hope in my Savior, Jesus Christ. I haven’t been able to understand exactly why or how this was the major take away from that experience, but I was left with so much love in my heart for my Savior and my Heavenly Father. I walked away with an illuminating hope in their vision and plan for me and my life, a reassurance that they knew exactly who I was and what I hoped for in my life. I walked away with an astounding gratitude that I can’t even explain. I just know that they know me, are aware of me and the desires of my heart. I feel there have been so many times throughout my life where the Lord has stepped in and rescued me by simply lightening my burdens and allowing me to see that He is there for me.
I don’t know if I will ever fully understand why He does this for me, but I am so grateful and overflowing with joy that He does. Again, I am reminded of a line from the hymn, I Stand All Amazed: “I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine, to rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine. That he should extend his great love unto such as I, sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.”
Forever grateful for His love!!!
