Finally, my kids were in the car. Backpacks, check. Lunches, check. Buckles on, check. Shoes on, check (It’s not uncommon for us to get somewhere and find that one kid doesn’t have his shoes on, lol!). And we’re on our way. So, we are dropping off my oldest daughter at the high school and the younger two in the back start in on each other. “No!” one screams. “Leave me alone! I can do it how I want!” it continues.
I’m only half hearing it, because at this point in my parenting, I have become a ninja master at tuning it all out. In my mind, I’m just hearing the rhythm of a tune (probably something from Usher) that got me going that morning. Even with the rhythm lulling me into my passive parenting routine, I can feel the tension between the two build and, grudgingly, I am just about to jump in on both of them and really give them something to think about (Ugh! It’s going to be one of those days!) when I hear my six year old daughter insist, “If you quit, you lose. If you keep trying, you are winning.”
Hmm … As a parent who firmly believes in motivation and grit, this just got interesting. I decide to wait it out a little longer before I interfere.
My 9 year old son counters with, “Yeah, but scientists try different things. They don’t just keep trying the same thing over and over again.” Now, as a parent who also strongly believes in reasoning and scientific research, I’m totally diggin’ this argument! I can’t wait to see how this one plays out!
“Yeah, but I can get it,” my six year old says, and right then, sure enough, she does. “Told you so!” she adds with a confident smirk.
Wow! What a moment to witness! I was totally in awe and taking some serious joy from that argument. The reasoning from both sides of the argument was sound and strong – especially knowing each of their personalities. As an educator, I couldn’t help but wonder at what they just gained from me allowing them to argue it out. Each kid had to verbalize his or her thinking. And not just verbalize it, but in a way that it could be understood by the other. Their little, but magnificent, minds had to think about their thinking (metacognition), had to consider another’s perspective, and had to find the right words to make it all make sense – all equating to some serious critical thinking, and only within a few seconds time.
Lately, I have witnessed a big push toward metacognitive thinking in the educational systems. An article called, Metacognition, written by Nancy Chick at Vanderbilt University suggests the following:
“Metacognitive practices help students become aware of their strengths and weaknesses as learners, writers, readers, test-takers, group members, etc. A key element is recognizing the limit of one’s knowledge or ability and then figuring out how to expand that knowledge or extend the ability. Those who know their strengths and weaknesses in these areas will be more likely to “actively monitor their learning strategies and resources and assess their readiness for particular tasks and performances” (Bransford, Brown, & Cocking, p. 67).”
So what sounded like an annoying argument that needed a referee, was really my kids learning and growing. Hmm. Maybe next time we hear our children going at it, we can simply grab the popcorn and stand back for a while; letting them struggle some with their thinking and see what happens. Perhaps passive parenting isn’t so passive after all.
For some ideas as to how to develop critical thinking skills in your kiddos, check out Bright Horizons.
