Feeling grateful. That’s how I feel as I settle myself down for bed tonight.
Not sure why, but as I lay here with my eyes closed, slowly drifting off, I began to sing the Battle Hymn of the Republic and the spirit of that song started filling me with gratitude. I know that I am so blessed and loved. It’s silly sometimes, cuz I do some really dumb things, but God loves me anyway. I know that. I don’t know how He does it, but He does. I love that Hymns remind me of that. It is one of my goals to memorize more hymn lyrics this summer. That and learning to moon walk, haha.
I went to Nauvoo on a short vacation to see the church history sights. My favorite part was the temple. It was so special. It’s funny how I can’t mask anything that is in my heart from the Lord when I am in the temple. I can hide all of my feelings from people in my everyday life, but talk about standing naked before the Lord when I am in the temple. It’s fun, because it is real. But it is also hard, because it is tender. At the Nauvoo temple, there were only 5 people in the endowment session, two couples and me. Being alone in the temple always makes me feel vulnerable. I have not participated in certain parts because I have no spouse there with me to participate with me. That evening in Nauvoo I actually got to particpate because they needed me to. As I stood there beside a complete stranger, I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks and dropping onto the floor below me, large alligator tears. I tried really hard not to make eye contact with anybody, haha, because I was so embarrassed, but just the same, I couldn’t stop it. People don’t know how blessed they are to have someone beside them in the temple. People don’t know how blessed they are.
The Lord’s plan is complete beauty. He is aware of each one of us and orchestrates an amazing path the leads us through the necessary growth opportunities to be able to live with Him again one day.
Forever grateful!
