There are a couple of things from recently that I feel I need to note. One, Coltrin. He has such an obedient and dutiful disposition. I love that about him. When I told him he had a zoom Deacon’s meeting the other Sunday, he jumped up and said, “Well, I better get dressed then,” and headed upstairs to get dressed. He didn’t complain or grumble about not getting to continue to play with his cousins or anything, but instead, he just got to work on it. I’ve been reading and studying a lot of the biographies of the church leaders and have recognized that no complaining, no murmuring quality as one that has been useful across the boards for them. I’m grateful Coltrin happily responds to the responsibility to serve.
Two, Coltrin again. At the dinner table the other day, Anja asked if it was breaking the word of wisdom if you just taste coffee, which struck up quite the lively conversation among the family. Coltrin, in such a definite but nonchalant way, chimed in with, “Just don’t. It’s easier to just not.” Again, his obedience …
Over the last 3 weeks or so I have read the biography of President Oaks; Elder Rasband’s book, “Be Not Troubled” twice; Elder Bednar’s book, “One by One”; Sister Aburto’s book, “Reaching for The Savior”; and am currently reading the biography of President Eyring. Several things have stood out to me:
One, Elder Bednar’s book emphasis really struck home for me as I have pondered lately my function for the Lord and keep being sent back to the idea of the importance of the one. The Savior died for each of us individually. The value we have to our Heavenly Father as individuals is incredible. He sacrifices immensely for each and every one of us. One soul has no more value than the next. He is delighted to have each and every soul He can back with Him, and because He feels this way, He works so so hard to help us return to Him. Sometimes our own doubts and lack of self worth, or inability to be able to see us as He does gets in the way and when we do witness a tender mercy from Him, it humbles us with wonder, but it shouldn’t. He would do it over and over again for us. Like I said, I’ve pondered my purpose in His service lately and I keep being reminded that it will be in supporting the one.
There was an insight in President Eyring’s book that I identified with. He discussed his difficulty in finding a happy medium with drive and productivity and meekness, believing that being meek meant that work wasn’t efficiently getting done. I can totally identify with that thought process. In the book, they share how President Eyring was eventually able to understand how meekness actually is more productive because it allows the heart to be open to guidance from Heavenly Father, which is the most productive way. Makes complete sense when looked at in that light, but I know exactly the mindset of hustle = productivity and meekness = slow pace. That was an interesting insight for me to learn. I love reading the biographies of the church leaders for that exact reason. I know I am supposed to try to be more like Christ, but sometimes that is hard to see how I do it considering it is Christ in His completeness. But if I can see how a normal human being like the general authorities do it, then I can apply their example to my life. It’s sorta like learning from the mistakes your older sister made as she grew up, haha, except there’s isn’t as much mistakes as just life experiences.
There was a section from the Book of Mormon that I read the other day that simply broke me down to tears, but I am still not sure exactly why. It’s 1Nephi 15:24-25: “And I said unto them that it was the word of God; and whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction. Wherefore, I, Nephi, did exhort them to give heed unto the word of the Lord; yea, I did exhort them with all the energies of my soul, and with all the faculty which I possessed that they would give heed to the word of God and remember to keep his commandments always in all things.”
Also in the Book of Mormon, there is the section about Nephi breaking his bow and how hard that was on the entire family. The family grumbled against the Lord, including Lehi, and Nephi had to inspire them to have hope and faith again. It made me think about how when life gets really hard, it forces the real you to be exposed, and how there are two types of people who can be seen in difficult times. One type falls to their knees immediately pleading for help and guidance from the Lord (Nephi), or the other type who hardens their hearts and turns from the Lord, blaming Him for how hard the way is. Which are you? That was an interesting observation. I know both types of people in my life. And the Lord loves them both just the same, but the big observation is the happiness differences that can be seen between the two. Hope and faith are always a much happier way.
I am so grateful for the Lord’s hand in my life. I need to be more humble and diligent in writing these things down when I am prompted to. I have not been great at acting when prompted lately because I am busy, but busy will never be a good excuse, so I need to just act.
I’ve been able to get out and go for a walk the past two nights under the stars. It’s been way too long since I’ve been out under the stars. It was so peaceful and refreshing. President Nelson spoke today of quiet time and stillness; walking under the stars is just that. I love it! Walking tonight made me think of a different part in President Eyring’s book where his dad asks him if physics is what he thinks about when he has down time and nothing really else that he must think about. President Eyring told him no. His dad suggested maybe he not major in physics after all. That made me evaluate what I think about in my down time and whether or not I am being true to myself in what I do.
I played golf with my dad yesterday. I really enjoyed it. Sometimes golf is too hard and not fun, but yesterday I played well enough that it was’t just painful. I ended up beating my dad by 3 strokes. I treasure that time I get with him. It is priceless.
Forever and ever grateful for it all!
