Today was testimony meeting in church. During testimony meeting we always tell of the things that we know, but rarely do we share what we don’t know. Today I pondered what other people said they knew and asked myself if I also knew the same. A little to my surprise, I realized there are some things that I don’t know completely with a solid conviction.
I don’t know that my family will be together forever. I don’t know what that means in the celestial realm. I don’t have a complete understanding of the functioning of families in exaltation, and I don’t understand how it all works considering a divorce or a second marriage. That said, I want my family to be together forever. My children are the dearest things to me and everything I work for. I know God is just and makes all of the confusion and mess of life orderly in His space, so even though I don’t KNOW this aspect of my life, I can be at peace because I know my Heavenly Father.
I don’t know the full purpose of the temple. I love the spirit of the temple, but can easily get lost in the logistics of it. I want to understand and know all of it, but I can’t say that I do. Again, I have learned to know the Spirit of things and can trust that knowledge and be patient in my understanding. Line upon line, here a little there a little, according to “whenever I am ready” (my faith) in the eyes of the Lord is when I will know.
I don’t know if what I do is enough. I know the Lord loves me. I know His love for me isn’t conditional upon whether or not what I do is enough. But I want to do my best. I am here to work for Him; that is my purpose, and I know I do that first and foremost through raising my own children, but beyond that … is it enough? I don’t always know if what I am doing is my best, if it is the best I can do, if it is enough that I’ll be able to stand before Him one day and confirm that I gave it everything I could. I am trying and working for Him, no doubt, but I think there is still more I am capable of doing for Him and His children.
So, no, I don’t know everything. I already knew that, though (haha). But what I do know is who my Savior is. I know His character. I know His kindness and love, His patience and peace, and His hope for me. Knowing Him changes lives. I listened today to a sister share her story about her difficult path moving away from the church and then back to the church a little later in life. Her story was not much different from mine, but extremely different than mine all at the same time. I could easily identify with her difficulties and understand why she ended up traveling the path she did. The mental hardships and confusion of abuse are real. But I could also see how and why our paths were so very different, and that all rested in having a sound knowledge in the character of the Savior. Because I knew Him, I was spared many even more difficult things than I already had to endure. I can’t express enough how grateful I am to know my Savior, Jesus Christ. If there is any one thing in your life you put the time in to work for, let it be in knowing Him! He saves!
Forever grateful to know Him.