Lately, the world has fallen apart. I sat on the edge of my bed and sobbed as I watched video clips of human beings beating other human beings. Why don’t they know that we are all on the same team?! My heart breaks at the ignorance and a merciful God who goes unknown. If only they knew. If only they could see as He sees. If only they could feel His love … This must be what prophets of old wept over, poured their hearts out to God over. Enos, Alma, Nephi, the Savior, to name a few, all had moments of seeing the universal ignorance, the lack of belief and the destruction that comes with it. These are the things that Satan sits back and laughs at – child of God killing child of God and the cycle of destruction that effortlessly flows from it. We do all of Satan’s dirty work for Him. It’s unnerving. And I find myself speechless when my 17 year old daughter comes to me seeking an explanation for it all. “I don’t understand how people can do that to each other,” is all I can tell her. “I don’t know. I don’t understand it.”
Lately, I have pondered our purpose(s) in life. I know we have a best path to discover and follow, but I wonder at our spiritual calling in life. We have been given gifts, each of us as individuals. We have been given talents and ways that we can bless each other. What is your spiritual purpose with those gifts and talents? How do you bless the lives of others? I ponder mine … Sometimes I feel like I have simply been called spiritually to simply love people for who they are and where they are and share happiness with them, to be a beacon of light . I feel like this is how I bless other peoples’ lives best. Sometimes I feel that it is all I can do, really, I can just love.
Lately, I can’t help but see how the Book of Mormon parallels our lives, how history repeats itself, how lessons to be learned, all of them, can be found in the Book of Mormon. I was watching the movie ‘MacArthur’ with my dad. As the story unfolds, I saw comparison after comparison to the Book of Mormon. The bold determination of Captain Moroni, his troops being deprived of much needed nourishment to maintain the fight, politics, strategy. I even thought of the Anti-Nephi-Lehi’s in comparison to Japan’s tenderness and choice to never again establish a military etc. It’s all there! All of it can be found in the Book of Mormon. It’s so amazing! The Lord has provided us with so many tools of intelligence and wisdom. We don’t have to suffer if we choose not to. Everything we need is right in front of us in that book.
Lately, I have discovered that my youngest daughter is best able to feel the Spirit when I kneel beside her bed, alone with her, in prayer instead of having her just pray with us as a family. She resists a little, and resents a little when I make her join us for reading and prayer at the end of the day. Then she shows that resistance by acting irreverent sometimes. It troubled me, and I have thought much on what to do and how to best handle it. Then, after allowing her to choose whether or not she wanted to join us, and simply going in to pray with her individually and tuck her in for bed, I realized that she happily says her prayers when it’s just the two of us there. Her genuine sweet spirit of gratitude returns and the reverence in her prayers is undeniable. So … if this is what I need to do to help her better feel the Spirit, then this is what we will do. Every sheep in the flock matters. The Savior sacrificed for one as much as He did for all. We are expected to do the same. Love as He does.
Lately, my oldest daughter’s future has been in my mind, particularly her future relationships. I have thought about how I would counsel her when she gets serious about a guy and is considering marrying him. Know what I think I would tell her? . . . I would tell her to marry her best friend. She is so independent and strong on her own that she isn’t going to need someone to hold her up financially or socially or educationally or even spiritually. She will be able to do all of those herself. But what she will need that she won’t be able to provide for herself will be a best friend, someone who will let her be her and simply love her for it no matter what. I hope that is what she keeps in mind for her future.
Life is so super cool! All of it. It is hard and challenging, but rich and rewarding. I struggle and fall often, but also have moments of soaring. I just love it! I am so grateful to know all that I know. To have the Spirit teach me and testify to me of so many things. To have a Heavenly Father who knows me personally and molds me into my best. I feel so blessed!
Forever grateful!
